Psycho-Free Zone

  Scatterbrained When I first created this blog, I intended to chronologically recount my story of narcissistic abuse . There are a few reasons the blog has remained stagnant for so long. One, my brain works in a more random way, not so much chronological. At this point, I'm thinking of writing a book (or two or three), that way I can keep adding events to the correct chapters as I remember them. Two, and this is more of an excuse than anything else, is life happened. I got busy with work and other things. Because I already felt overwhelmed at trying to recount my tale, it was easy to use "I'm just too busy" as an excuse to avoid writing about what I'd been through. Three, and probably most importantly, is that I realized shortly after I created my blog that my significant other (now my husband) had been through the same thing I had but to a far worse degree. At the time, he was still in touch with his abuser who was actively trying to destroy his life. This was c

Unmasked Narcissism Recently, I read an article, written by a mental health professional regarding narcissistic personality disorder, that made a derogatory statement about there being so much information online written by lay-folk regarding personality disorders. My first thought was, yeah, due to having the misfortune of experiencing an NPD at an intimate level, some lay-folk understand narcissism better than certain clinicians . I don’t mean non-professionals should try to diagnose each new acquaintance, but psychologists aren’t infallible, and they, too, may be fooled by a narcissist playing the role of a decent human being. Having the training and a degree doesn’t necessarily mean the therapist learned it correctly or actually knows how to apply the knowledge appropriately. Reading about the traits of personality disorders and psychopathy in textbooks isn’t the same as encountering them in the wild. As far as armchair psychologists go, who better to identify an NPD than someone w

Why did we move in with my Narcissistic Mother-In-Law? When my husband and I returned to our home state, several years ago, the plan was to stay with his parents while he settled into a new job position. We both worked with the company, and the owners wanted him to relocate. He was also to have a minor surgery (with a sufficient recovery period), and we were to search for an apartment. It was my narcissistic mother-in-law (NMIL) who extended the invitation for us to stay with them during this time. Upon our arrival, she designated one end of the house, with two spare rooms, for us to spread out in. ( She later rewrote history by stating that she never said any such thing, but I specifically remember her telling us this, because it made me feel that she was giving us room to breathe, and maybe this wouldn't be so unpleasant after all . ) For a brief period of time, she expressed concern over Tim's injury, even sharing her prescription pain meds and sleeping pills with him, and

Sabotage Anyone who's come out of a long-term toxic relationship knows that a manipulative, vindictive narcissistic ex can all but ruin your life. They'll at least do their best to try. My husband's abuser managed to sabotage his career, basically setting him back to square one. She did this even though taking away his means to support himself also meant taking away his means to pay child support to her. An emotionally healthy woman with a handful of kids will look for a job to help support herself and her children. An unbalanced wreck in the same situation will spend all of her time plotting and scheming until she succeeds in cutting off the only source of income she does have. To me, this is one of the most baffling aspects of psychopaths and the personality disordered . When they perceive that someone has wronged them, they will go out of their way to harm that person, even when it is inevitable that they themselves will be negatively affected by the outcome. I truly bel

Disordered and Deceitful Psychopaths There is no cure for psychopathy/sociopathy/cluster B personality disorders. There is no way to teach a psychopath to have compassion and empathy. Worse, being a sociopath isn't even a crime, in and of itself. There are plenty of personality disordered, high conflict people running around loose in our culture, and they destroy people's lives. Not all of them kill, not all of them are physically abusive, and not all of them commit such blatant crimes that they wind up in prison, but they all use and abuse others for their own personal gain. Given that knowledge, is there any way we could co-exist with psychopaths peacefully? Could they be integrated into society in such a way that they could only be helpful? Here are a few ideas for how to neutralize them, in order to protect the innocent.  Option 1 - Banishment Exile psychopaths. Give them their own remote territory to reside on, but make sure they have no way to leave this pla

A Book Worth Reading I am currently reading Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward, PhD . Most of her information and advice is spot on. However, I disagree with her on a couple of issues. Before I get into those, I should probably fill you in on why I'm reading this book about toxic parents.   This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). Thank you for your support in this way. As I stated in my Introduction post, I lived with a sociopath for a number of years, and my husband was ensnared by one for over a decade. If you're reading this, I assume you've had your own major encounter with a psychopath, or perhaps you have a loved one who has. And if that's the case, you may already have learned that the reason some of us get involved with sociopaths is because we're trying to resolve childhood issues. We had high conflict, soci

Some people should not be allowed to reproduce. A New Jersey mother of a five-year-old  faces child endangerment charges for allegedly exposing her daughter to the UV rays from a tanning bed. If you haven't seen this yet, you can read about it here . No way to tell for sure if this mommy is personality disordered or a sociopath, but body dysmorphic disorder is probably a safe bet. At any rate, she's not exactly what you'd refer to as mentally stable . When I read about this, it reminded me of an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia . The gang finds a baby in a dumpster, and Dee and Mac try to exploit him for money. They take the baby boy to a tanning salon to get a base tan, so that he can become an actor/model. It's hard to explain out of context, but you can watch the tanning salon clip here . A tanning salon is no place for children, and it's baffling that an attendant had no problem letting Patricia Krentcil take her little girl into the room with he