Skip to main content

About Karli McClane

My photo
Karli McClane
In sharing some of her experiences and observations, Karli's goal is to help others who have had to endure abuse from psychopaths, sociopaths, personality disordered individuals (narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial), and other emotional vampires that thrive on inflicting harm and causing misery.

Getting Back Into Blogging

 


Scatterbrained

When I first created this blog, I intended to chronologically recount my story of narcissistic abuse. There are a few reasons the blog has remained stagnant for so long. One, my brain works in a more random way, not so much chronological. At this point, I'm thinking of writing a book (or two or three), that way I can keep adding events to the correct chapters as I remember them.

Two, and this is more of an excuse than anything else, is life happened. I got busy with work and other things. Because I already felt overwhelmed at trying to recount my tale, it was easy to use "I'm just too busy" as an excuse to avoid writing about what I'd been through.

Three, and probably most importantly, is that I realized shortly after I created my blog that my significant other (now my husband) had been through the same thing I had but to a far worse degree. At the time, he was still in touch with his abuser who was actively trying to destroy his life. This was causing all kinds of problems, and it was what I really wanted to document because it caused me so much more pain than actually living with a psychopath ever did.

Overwhelmed

Getting back to feeling overwhelmed, my situation was confusing, I didn't have the terminology to adequately express everything that was happening, and trying to figure out what exactly was going on was exhausting. Eventually, my husband and I figured everything (mostly) out, but it was still difficult to comprehend. I feel even more compelled to try to get this out, if for no other reason than there doesn't seem to be much information out there on how to cope with this type of situation, and how to help a loved one who is dealing with CPTSD and dissociation while they are actively being abused. It was a frustrating, frightening experience, and I can't be the only person to have gone through this with someone dear, not knowing how to help. In fact, some of my reactions probably made it worse.

Goals

My goal is to write a book in two parts (possibly three). The first book will relay the story of the part of my life I lived with my narcissistic abuser; the second book will recount the journey my husband and I have taken through the aftermath of abuse. A possible third book would be my husband's life with his borderline personality disordered abuser, but that's completely up to him. I know a good deal of that story, but it's his to tell.

In the meantime, where am I going with the blog? Unfortunately, my husband and I have both lived with, and worked with, some extremely volatile and manipulative people, even after we thought we'd be free of those types for good. Writing about these experiences seems like an easier jumping off point while I'm working on my first book.

Photo Credit: Pixnio

Protected by Copyscape

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Post A Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Narcissistic Mother-in-Law Has No Respect for Personal Boundaries

Blatant Disregard For Personal Boundaries In a previous post, I talked about giving some insight into what it was like living with my narcissistic mother-in-law during the time my husband and I had to do so out of necessity. The following is an example taken from one of my personal journal entries from about five years ago. We had been there for several months, so we were noticing patterns in her cycle of abuse, and we were constantly on edge. This happened on a day when my husband (then-fiance), Tim, was working and I was off. I was in our room, sitting cross-legged on the bed with my laptop. I'm an extremely introverted person; my personal space is important to me, and since the in-laws were also at home, I kept the door to my room closed. They (my NMIL and her flying monkey) were in a bedroom adjacent to mine where they had their computer set up. I knew they were both in there, because I could hear both of their voices, and I heard Maude lower hers in a conspiratorial tone. Sho...
Post a Comment
Read more

Welcome To My Dysfunctional Family

New Beginnings As we start the new year, I was reflecting on my goals for last year, and that got me thinking about how much can happen in a year. A few years ago, my husband and I started a tradition of writing down Happy Thoughts throughout the year and stuffing them into a jar, then we read them to each other during the first few days of the new year. We've been doing that this week, and I'm realizing how much I have to be grateful for, and I don't want to take anything for granted. I grew up in a dysfunctional family , so it astonishes me that it took me as long as it did to recognize it when I found myself entrapped in it in my adult life. What's more puzzling is that, even after my own experience, I didn't see my best friend's (now my husband) Stockholm Syndrome for what it was. In my defense, I was still licking my wounds and trying to make sense of what I had been through. I was also blinded by optimism and a renewed sense of hope. So many people feel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Reader Question Regarding Manipulative Teenage Step-Daughter

  This is a question a reader submitted to me via a HubPages article I wrote: My step-daughter (13) is the second youngest of a blended family of eight. She lacks empathy and has high anxiety. She lies, manipulates, distracts to get what she wants and avoids any real responsibility. How does a step-parent navigate this situation? As I’ve stated elsewhere, I am not a licensed mental health professional; therefore, I do not feel comfortable giving personalized advice. However, I will share a few thoughts I had upon reading this question. First, have you expressed your concerns regarding your manipulative step-daughter to your spouse? If your answer is no, why not? Do you feel that your spouse will refuse to hear you out, or will listen to you but then invalidate your concerns? Then, there are larger issues to deal with, and I would urge you to explore why you don’t feel comfortable raising this issue with him/her. If you answered yes to the question above, does your spouse acknowled...
Post a Comment
Read more