Psycho-Free Zone

  New Blog Recently, I was considering deleting my blog, but ultimately I decided to switch over from WordPress to a free account instead. I felt like I wasn't reaching anyone; I wasn't getting much traffic, and it felt like I was writing just for myself which is something I can do in a private journal. So when the time came to renew my fees or cancel my blog, I was about to delete the whole thing. Then, I got an email from someone thanking me and encouraging me to keep writing. From time to time I get those, and it is nice to know that that my information was helpful to someone. It's why I started blogging. Abused By A Narcissist I started my original blog because, prior to coming to the realization that I was being psychologically abused by a narcissist , I felt like I was losing my mind, that no one understood, even when I tried to explain. It's like I was trapped with no way to express what I had to deal with on a day to day basis. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it

  Scatterbrained When I first created this blog, I intended to chronologically recount my story of narcissistic abuse . There are a few reasons the blog has remained stagnant for so long. One, my brain works in a more random way, not so much chronological. At this point, I'm thinking of writing a book (or two or three), that way I can keep adding events to the correct chapters as I remember them. Two, and this is more of an excuse than anything else, is life happened. I got busy with work and other things. Because I already felt overwhelmed at trying to recount my tale, it was easy to use "I'm just too busy" as an excuse to avoid writing about what I'd been through. Three, and probably most importantly, is that I realized shortly after I created my blog that my significant other (now my husband) had been through the same thing I had but to a far worse degree. At the time, he was still in touch with his abuser who was actively trying to destroy his life. This was c

Recalling Life With My N-MIL Reading through my old journal entries, I'm recalling the constant feelings of dread, hopelessness, oppression, and despair . During the time we lived with my in-laws, my narcissistic mother-in-law (N-MIL) engaged in gas-lighting, verbal abuse, rewriting history, blatant attempts at manipulation, playing dumb (or forgetful), projection, lying, denial, double standards, tantrums, crocodile tears, threats, bullying, emotional blackmail, and at least one meltdown of nuclear proportions. The majority of it was directed at my husband, while I was mostly treated as a non-person; the in-laws wouldn’t even address me by name when they were speaking to me, they would simply start talking at me. Toward the end, when the tension was almost unbearable, I would often reflect on how my N-MIL and her flying monkey would go on the offense in order to keep her targets busy running defense. It was the same way, years ago, when I lived with my narc. Abusers put so much ef

Why did we move in with my Narcissistic Mother-In-Law? When my husband and I returned to our home state, several years ago, the plan was to stay with his parents while he settled into a new job position. We both worked with the company, and the owners wanted him to relocate. He was also to have a minor surgery (with a sufficient recovery period), and we were to search for an apartment. It was my narcissistic mother-in-law (NMIL) who extended the invitation for us to stay with them during this time. Upon our arrival, she designated one end of the house, with two spare rooms, for us to spread out in. ( She later rewrote history by stating that she never said any such thing, but I specifically remember her telling us this, because it made me feel that she was giving us room to breathe, and maybe this wouldn't be so unpleasant after all . ) For a brief period of time, she expressed concern over Tim's injury, even sharing her prescription pain meds and sleeping pills with him, and

Blatant Disregard For Personal Boundaries In a previous post, I talked about giving some insight into what it was like living with my narcissistic mother-in-law during the time my husband and I had to do so out of necessity. The following is an example taken from one of my personal journal entries from about five years ago. We had been there for several months, so we were noticing patterns in her cycle of abuse, and we were constantly on edge. This happened on a day when my husband (then-fiance), Tim, was working and I was off. I was in our room, sitting cross-legged on the bed with my laptop. I'm an extremely introverted person; my personal space is important to me, and since the in-laws were also at home, I kept the door to my room closed. They (my NMIL and her flying monkey) were in a bedroom adjacent to mine where they had their computer set up. I knew they were both in there, because I could hear both of their voices, and I heard Maude lower hers in a conspiratorial tone. Sho